Sunday, December 22, 2013


This picture basically sums up my feelings about being in high school. I was on the floor agonizing about a math quiz when it was taken. (Typical.)

I feel like I've been sharing too many weird life details that will either a) get me killed or b) bore you to death... I think I'm conforming... My next post will be a room tour and my next post will be an outfit post and then a winter vibez inspiration post and yeaaahh. I don't exactly know how to not be like every single other person on the planet, so I usually just talk about myself to a personal level that no one dares to reach. (For obvious reasons, I'm beginning to realize.)

I don't have very much stuff to show you are talk about because my life has been chapter outlines and flashcards and keyboard clicking sounds (but mostly eating mochi ice cream to avoid doing my homework) for the past month or so. Because I'm just doing work so much, time has blended together and I feel like I'm in this state of emptiness. Bottom line: I really have to get out more.

In other news, Ned Vizzini is dead. I guess I usually don't have that much to say about famous people dying. It happens so often, I'm kind of immune to it. Like, I've seen so many movies/whatever that I approach every remotely unfortunate situation with this weird numbness.

But anyway, I guess this Ned Vizzini thing is weird for me. I really enjoyed It's Kind of a Funny Story and I was in the middle of reading Teen Angst? Naah... and then I stopped because, you know, to put it delicately, sCHooL iS eAtiNg mY LiFE, but I could relate to everything he was saying...Literally everything. He went the high school I go to now, so when he said "my school has a marble lobby" I knew exactly what marble lobby he was talking about because it's the marble lobby I was sitting in on Friday. I was thinking about what great friends we would probably be if he was my age. I was even planning on emailing him just to ask him for advice on school, writing, and how on earth you're supposed to pursue writing when your school gives you 28304930849305790284394823 hours of homework a night.

He even tweeted me once! I was shamelessly promoting our book last year and I had to somehow get peoples' attention in under 140 characters so all of my tweets sounded really stupid, but yeah.

i am literally cringing
In a Features article in an issue of our school newspaper (published sometime in September or October, he was quoted saying:

“I idolized suicide for a long time before I was diagnosed with actual depression. I don’t think it had to do with [Stuyvesant]. It had to do with Nirvana, because I loved that band, and since Kurt Cobain killed himself, I had a bad role model.”

This makes me a bit sad. The entire article was him saying clever, funny, and cute things... I mean, obviously he didn't kill himself because of Kurt Cobain. It's just weird to see him joking about suicide and then, like, actually committing it a few months later. Rest in peace, Ned.

Welp, I guess it's the holiday season. Because of all of the melancholy and sort of Christmas-ness of everything I feel like I'm living in Hole's 1994 Saturday Night Live performance (for the Christmas special, duh.)

Sucky things keep happening to awesome people. This song is relevant:

And now for Alik appreciation.

He'll kill me if I don't mention him. Heh. <# Luv u